[Tig] From Malibu... comes news..

Sat May 10 08:27:37 PDT 2008

Damn you, Lingelbach!  :)  You had me, right up to the 'Clothes Shed'!

Steve

	Steve Roberts | Senior Engineer | BBC Resources
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-----Original Message-----
From: tig-bounces at tig.colorist.org [mailto:tig-bounces at tig.colorist.org]
On Behalf Of Rob Lingelbach
Sent: 10 May 2008 15:36
To: tig at tig.colorist.org
Subject: [Tig] From Malibu... comes news..

1850 subscribers as of May 2008
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Los Angeles, CA, May 10, 2008 -

In the foothills of Malibu, shaded by hundred-year-old oak trees, a
completely new and modern idea in post production facilities has taken
root. In April, construction began on Quentin Tarantino's bid to host
the must luxurious and beautiful, yet completely energy-neutral, post
house in the world.

In this exurban, relaxing and rugged, indoor-outdoor "Post Habitat" as
it's initially dubbed, will be the "the world's best Editors, Effects
Artists, and Colorists" says Tarantino, while hosting a launch lunch
recently in the on-site spacious natural cavern created by a 500-year
old flood of the waters of nearby Malibu Creek. "Our clients will be
staying and living in Malibu for from one day to weeks, and we'll have
the most natural, energy-conserving and inspirational atmosphere"
possible, continues Tarantino. Fitting out of the first element in the
parallel multilevel low-impact design has almost completed, and will be
called "The Grading Cave." Attached to this naturally-cooled and
humidity-neutral series of suites will be "The Client Corral" where
producers, directors, and attendants will leave their conveyances, which
will be limited to natural means: horses, ponies, or vehicles
pre-certified to have a null effect on the environment.
Clothes will be shed in The Clothes Shed where friendly masseuses will
introduce clients to the healing powers of completely natural, ancient,
depth-oriented, open source,
pre- and post-session therapy. A short glide on the magneto-lever
footpath tram will whisk visitors at natural speeds to the attached
organic lagoon, facing the ocean, that used to be part of a State Park
but has now been entrusted to the "burgeoning Hollywood Green
Consciousness," as Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger recently stated in the
bequeathment ceremony.

The Post Habitat will be powered completely by the "energy runoff" of
nearby Malibu and Santa Monica athletic clubs, by virtue of a
negotiation that will allow clients and staff to use these clubs for
free. In return, the Cities of Malibu and Santa Monica will issue Energy
Credits that will encourage all their residents to use pre-certified
Green Entities, of which Post Habitat is the first, founding member. An
additional, innovative inducement will be a Green Giveback Carbon
Certificate, included with breakfast at The Post Habitat, which allows
any client to burn their toast, thereby reintroducing gas-phase
polycyclic aromatic hydrocarbons to the local ecosystem.

One Name Only

All key artists, not excluding those using mattes, will be known by One
Name Only (the "ONO" effect, originating with Yoko). The first of these
to come aboard is colorist and design phenom Fabio who, as QT put it
"has made quite a mane for himself." F. is currently recovering from
neuralgia, suffered as a result of having to walk the one hundred yards
from where he had to park his Hummer, before entering the magneto-tram
(Energy=0). His title will be Lead Digital Digital Intermediate Senior
Imaging Colorist.
Due to the non-neutral energy-wasting characteristics of business cards,
his title will crawl across his forehead in realtime, demonstrating the
speed of the SAN on his TAN.

Lead engineer Mike Waldie, when asked how he was managing to keep all
these disparate targets within the budget, which is Green Neutral, said
he'd actually found it surprisingly easy, "given that, at the end of the
day, you've got to admit, it's a splashing... well, to put it another
way, what could one expect, given the excruciating climate, and how
we're responding, the .."

Reporting for the TIG in Malibu was Hcablegnil Bor.
--
Rob Lingelbach
rob at colorist.org    http://www.colorist.org/robhome.html

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